Blogging bugbears: Would it kill you to be nice?

Three years ago I sat down with some vague ideas and set up a blog. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t innovative, but it was functional and it did the job. I had my own tiny corner of the Internet. About six months later, with more of a clue about what I was doing, I bought my own domain and went self hosted. My little corner of the world wide web suddenly felt a bit more permanent and felt a bit more like it was mine.

Like my house, I can do what I want with it, paint it purple, get orange scatter cushions, I can have breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. My house, my rules. My blog, my rules.

There are some things I will do and some things I won’t do. Other bloggers I know would make the same choices as me, some would be altogether different. That’s fine. Their blog, their rules.

There are nearly 10k parent bloggers in the UK. The opportunities for these bloggers are finite and competition can be fierce. It’s not in my nature to be competitive, and sometimes friendly competition can turn a bit nasty. I feel like I’m seeing more and more snarky tweets and bitchy Facebook posts about “other bloggers” and the way they manage their own blog. This creates an atmosphere I feel really uncomfortable with. People going out of their way to be mean because maybe they feel bigger and cleverer for putting another individual, or a group of “lesser” individuals down. If this was in school there’s a name for people who do that.

I have a very simplistic world view. I tend to look at the world and wonder why we can’t all just get on. At our very heart we are all human beings with other human beings to love and care for. A mother is a mother in Southampton or Syria, Ipswich or Iraq, Amersham or America. I told you it was almost naively simplistic.

Why can’t we all just get on? Why do some people look at another blogger and go out of their way to do them down? They are just another individual trying to scratch out a living by blogging. By doing someone down you’re not slagging off a massive multinational business, but a mum or dad struggling to juggle kids, a home, maybe a job and blogging. And we all know that blogging can be full time and full on.

It’s not up to me or you to say that one way is the right way and everything else is wrong, wrong, wrong. I bought and paid for my little corner of the internet, it’s mine and if I want to paint my walls purple then I will. If I want to run giveaways, do reviews, sponsored posts, endless blog posts about my bad back, silly things my son said to me, or if I want to use my own personal blog to just be a nice person then I will. No one is forcing anyone to read, follow or interact with me or any other blogger. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Simple.

Vive la difference!

blogging bugbears

13 responses to “Blogging bugbears: Would it kill you to be nice?

  1. I really couldn’t agree more. The blog police have always been around but they can be truly unpleasant lately. I’m so glad I’m not starting out now, the blogging world is not the friendly place it once was.

  2. I also agree what what you have to say. I have often thought of starting a blog but because I am a weak person who takes bad comments and criticism to heart, I know I wouldn’t cope for very long in the somewhat bitchy blogging world. I am not saying all bloggers are bitchy or competitive but I know there are a lot who are.

    I think you do a lovely job and pat you on the shoulder for your 3 years of being such an inspitation to your blog followers. Thank you Jane for your lovely blog.

    • Tracy you are NOT a week person, you are lovely and have a great spirit. If you ever did take the plunge, and lots do, you can always set up your blog so no one can leave comments. To be honest the lovely bloggers far outweigh the bad eggs. Xx

  3. It does feel as if it’s become a competition. You don’t want newer bloggers to be ripped off, but as long as they are aware of what they are giving in return for their sum of money or review item or whatever, it’s truly up to the individual what they’ll accept.
    Likewise it’s up to the individual how they run their blog. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s any lesser than another blog, their readers obviously enjoy it!
    The only thing I hope I am critical of is cheats. We can all buy 10,000 Instagram followers for £25 and grab a fabulous opportunity – but it’ll make you no friends and it’s hard work that pays off in the end.

    • I think there are some very supportive FB groups that can really help new bloggers find their feet, plus a quick Google will tell you most of the technical things you’d ever need. I think it’s really obvious when people buy followers, I don’t think it really helps in the long term and I wonder how many regret making that choice at a later date. It’s good to have big numbers, but any PR worth their salt will be able to sniff that out. You’re right, it’s hard work that pays off. Blog, sweat and tears?

  4. Very well said….You are so right. I feel the same why can’t we all get along?! I just seem to live in my own little bubble and hardly see the nasty things that go on.

    • I think bubbles have a lot to commend them. I love my bubble (it has orange scatter cushions and everything) and I’m glad my cohort of blogger friends don’t do the bitchy thing, they do the helpful and supportive thing. It must be so exhausting being so outraged and angry about what other people are doing all the time 🙂

  5. I totally agree with you, I always think each to their own. I’ve spotted some comments from bloggers on Twitter that have made me cringe and it’s really put me off interacting with them or even visiting their blogs ever again, it costs nothing to be nice.

    • Exactly, you see the mask slip and I find it off putting. If you’ve not got anything nice to say, why say anything at all? It only reflects back in you in the end. It’s nice to be nice 🙂

  6. Spot on – why and how people have the energy to worry about what other people are doing with their blog is kind of beyond me! If I’m honest I do miss most of it though as I kind of stick to my own little blogging corner.

  7. Well said! I tend to keep to myself and rarely post in any bloggy groups because of the fear of people bitching about me. It’s no one elses business how someone else blogs.

  8. Argh I really do not get how people can be so unkind to other people. I too think I live in my little internet bubble as not witnessed anything bitchy. Treat other people how you like to be treated yourself is my motto. Off to buy some orange scatter cushions and paint my walls purple lol x

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