Tag Archives: pilates

37 things about me for my 37th birthday

Today is my 37th birthday so I’ve decided to blog my 37 favourite things about my life as well as some nice, positive (for a change) things about me.37 things about me for my 37th birthday

37 things about me for my 37th birthday

  1.  I have found increased confidence in my late 30’s which is empowering.
  2.  I have a wonderful husband (of 13 years).
  3.  I have an amazing, funny and adorable son.
  4.  I have a great collection of brilliant and caring friends.
  5.  I am honest, often brutally so, but you’ll never hear me lie.
  6.  I have a small but supportive family.
  7.  I am actually a pretty good Mum.
  8.  We have a place in Devon where I find ultimate peace and serenity.
  9.  I love to lie on the rocks and listen to the waves crash against them for hours. I love and fear the power of the sea.
  10.  I love a good storm, rumbles of thunder, flashes of lightening, the feeling of ecstatic foreboding is beautiful.
  11.  I’m a good cook, can make delicious meals out of nothing and I enjoy creating in the kitchen.
  12.  I love social media. Twitter has got me through some dark, dark times these past 12 months.
  13.  I love blogging. I’ve always loved writing and having my blog helps me get my thoughts and feelings out of my head.
  14.  Although I hate myself most of the time, I am kinda cute (but never beautiful).
  15.  I love to dance and go about it with gay abandon.
  16.  Music is my life and first love, though my tastes are mainly stuck around 1995.
  17.  I’m reasonably bright and excellent at Trivial Pursuits.
  18.  I am entertaining company especially on nights out.
  19.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and care a great deal about people.
  20.  I am a good listener and happy to lend a shoulder to cry on.
  21.  I am reasonably good at photography.
  22.  I love walking. With my iPod on I can walk for miles lost in my thoughts.
  23.  I am strong.
  24.  I am able to endure considerable physical pain.
  25.  I love Pilates even though it hurts.
  26.  I developed a love of film at uni and especially love Quentin Tarantino films.
  27.  My favourite sport is ice hockey. It is awesome.
  28.  I love Scandinavia and everything Scandinavian.
  29.  My favourite flowers are sweet peas. Their scent lifts my spirits.
  30.  I have an excellent sense of humour and the dirtiest laugh in Manchester (fact).
  31.  I no longer care what people think about me which is empowering.
  32.  I love trying new things and exploring various boundaries in my life.
  33.  I am a chronic underachiever but I’m cool with that now.
  34.  I pretty much always root for the underdog or at the very least I can see things from their perspective.
  35.  I am able to endure and have endured. And have survived.
  36.  The thing I am most proud of is my son.
  37.  I don’t fear being 40.
Happy 37th Birthday to me!

Spinal Rehab – Getting Fit Again

This year hasn’t been great, I’ve had two surgeries on my back and spent the best part of 8 months lying down in pain or being shunted about in a wheelchair. I’ve got my legs back now and can walk again though I still have back pain and numbness in my legs.

When I look back at where I was 18 months ago I was fit. I’d do around 4 hours of Zumba or other dance a week, I ran a bit and I’d walk for miles and miles. I used to love yoga and I was strong and flexible and most definitely fit.

Eight months of pain meds, biscuits and lying down have taken their toll and I’m as weak as a kitten. My legs shake, I have lost my core stability, I am weak and I hate it. Luckily I’ve got myself on a spinal rehab programme which is trying to make me strong again.

I’m only at the very start of my journey but I’ve got to walk a maximum of 2 miles a day. I’m allowed to return to Pilates as long as that’s done at my pace and I don’t push myself. I must learn to sit again and lie down less. I must complete my physio exercises daily. I must push myself but not too far. I can complete some basic household chores but I’m not allowed to lift and bend which is tricky with a toddler. I’m not allowed to take him out in his pushchair yet as that’s too strenuous. I am weak.

You’d think that this would be frustrating for me, my inability to function normally, to rely on others to empty the washing machine so I can peg out the washing, but no. I’ve been broken for so long just doing that is an achievement and makes me feel like I’m a more useful member of the household.

I want to start swimming again, I used to be a competitive swimmer and I was super strong and I want to be like that again. My Zumba days are most likely behind me and I’ll probably never run again as any activity which involves impact could further damage my spine.

I’m 36 and I’ve got to be careful. But I’m grateful not to be in horrendous pain anymore. I’m grateful that when my feet touch the floor more often than not I can feel the floor. I’m grateful that I can start to be a proper wife and mother again. I’m incredibly grateful to the surgeons for giving me my life back.

Now I need to take my life and shape it into something that makes me happy and fulfilled and most importantly a lifestyle that suits my ruined spine. Existing can be exhausting and if I overdo it I can be in pain for days. I’m determined to get fit again and I want to be strong. I need to be strong.

So if you go for a walk with me, sorry if I can’t keep up. If you want me to join you in the park with my son, I can’t push him there I’m sorry. If you want me to go clubbing with you I can’t dance. But I’m not going to lie down and rot ever again, not if I can help it.

I’ve been told it’ll be 2-3 years before I’m recovered from the surgeries and that I may always have pain and numbness. I can live with that because I’ve got my life back. Now I just need my strength and fitness.