Divorce is one of the hardest things that an adult can go through, but as emotional and confusing as it may be for you, it will be even more so for your children. After all, they will have seen all of the fights and heard all of the arguments, and may even blame themselves for your problems. It’s normal for your child to grieve the breakup of their family, but there is also a lot that you can do as their parent to help them through it. Here are some tips for you to follow.
- Don’t Point Fingers
In your eyes, your marriage may have been completely ruined by your husband, but that isn’t something that your child needs to hear. After all, you are talking about their other parent. The last thing you want to do is point fingers and state blame, and then have your child distance themselves from you.
- Tell Them They Are Loved
You need to make sure that your child feels loved, no matter how bad you feel at the time. They may blame themselves for the breakup of their family, so you need to reassure them that that is the furthest thing from the truth. You also need to ensure that your child feels loved if your ex-partner fails to turn up to visit them, as this will further cause them to blame themselves
- Sort Out Visitation
Divorce is a confusing time for your child, so they need stability. Sorting out a visitation schedule provides some of this stability, as your child knows which parent they are supposed to be with at what time every day of the week. If you have a solicitor like Austin Kemp Divorce Solicitors, they will help you come to an arrangement with your ex-partner that suits you both, as well as your children.
- Have A Backup Plan
Lot’s of parents fail to show up on their visitation days for one reason or another, so it’s important to have a backup plan for this day so that your child isn’t sat by the window feeling rejected all day. Let them know that if their mother or father doesn’t show up by a certain time that you’ll go bowling or to the cinema instead. This won’t make them feel completely better, but it’s a good distraction.
- Encourage Communication
Children tend to bottle up their feelings during a divorce, as they don’t want to anger or upset anyone. Encourage your child to talk to you about their feelings, and let them know that you’re always there if they have anything that they need to get off their chest. If the other parent tends not to show up, encourage your child to speak to them about it, and let them know how they feel. It will have a much bigger impact than you shouting at them down the phone, trust me.
Divorce is horrible and confusing for children, no matter how old they are, but, hopefully, if you follow these tips, you can make life a little easier for yours.