Worrying about your kids to a certain degree is natural, but helicopter parenting isn’t the best thing you can do for them. If you want your child to grow to be a balanced, well rounded individual, you need to encourage them to be independent. You won’t do this if you’re micromanaging their lives.
Know Why You Helicopter Parent
If you want to avoid being a helicopter parent, or stop being one, it’s important to know why this happens in the first place. It’s usually down to the following reasons:
- Fear of scary consequences
- Feelings of anxiety
- Overcompensation for your own upbringing
Which one is it for you? When you know, you can start to work these feelings.
Know the downsides of helicopter parenting to deter you from doing it. This type of parenting can cause many issues in your child’s life. Low confidence and self esteem are common among children who have helicopter parents. Undeveloped coping skills are also a huge problem. What about when your child doesn’t want to do their own laces, or perform the simplest of tasks? They’ll have a lot of trouble when growing up and heading off to places like college and uni, if they decide to go at all. There are services like those found on https://www.brillassignment.co.uk/dissertation/ that could potentially help them through, but they can’t do the entire course for them! You need to seriously think of your child’s future and how you’d like them to live their lives.
Anxiety in kids is common with helicopter parenting, and a sense of entitlement. In extreme cases, you may find undeveloped life skills that they should really have, such as dressing themselves. In short, stop micromanaging your child!
Make A Child ‘Resume’
To prove to yourself and your child everything they can do, have fun making them a ‘resume’. It doesn’t need to look like a real resume. Just have fun with it. List all of the things they can do. For instance
- Sian can put her toys away.
- Molly can dress herself.
- Tom can brush his teeth alone.
- Adam can use the telephone.
Not only will this remind you of everything they are capable of, it’ll also help them to see how great they’re doing. Then they’ll be so proud of themselves that they will want to try hard to do new things!
Ensure They Live Balanced Lives
Make sure your child is living a balanced life, without taking it to extremes. For example, they should be able to do their homework and have a social life. They shouldn’t be doing too much of one or the other. Something called ‘Submarine Parenting’ is a good option. You’re there where they can’t see you, so they are less likely to come to you for help with something they can do alone. However, you’re in the background somewhere, so you know if they truly need you or not.
You should stay close for real emergencies, but encourage them to go it alone where possible.
What do you think of these ideas?
This is a contributed post.