I’m struggling at the moment. A few close friends have spotted that I’m not my normal self and they’re not wrong. There are a few things going on, nothing significant, but I suspect how I’m feeling right now is part of the grieving process.
It would be easy to say I’m depressed but I don’t think I am. I can still find joy in most things, it just that every time I think about my Dad I burst into tears. Missing him is causing me significant pain, but I guess it will for a while. I’m fine, really I’m fine, I just need more time to come to terms with being without him.
This year I’ve done some brave big step things with my family. We scattered my Dad’s ashes and we’ve cleared his house ready for it to be sold. We talk about him every day to try and make the gap feel more normal, but we all miss him. How could we not?
2017 has brought with it some big, interesting things which have been keeping me busy, which is great. But really when it comes to every day things I’m really struggling to focus and be especially productive.
If you read my blog much you may have noticed that I’m not blogging as often, and when I do I’m not really writing about personal things. I’ve tried a thousand times to write something, but I couldn’t manage anything beyond a paragraph. I’m looking at the 250 words I’ve written so far for this blog post and wondering where they have come from, because so far 2017 has given me no words.
I sat down to put together a blog post, mainly based on photos of what we’ve done over half term, and I’ve found some words at last. At least I know I’ve got some in me now, I hope this has broken my block. Fingers crossed. Anyway, here are a few nice things we did over half term. Thanks for sticking with me and reading my little Sunday night brain dump.
We embraced a bit of half term Hygge, baked some biscuits and built a den.
We did some crafting.
We just chilled out at home, sheltering from Storm Doris and eating spaghetti.
And on Saturday we met the Smurfs. We are now quite obsessed with these little blue chaps and we’re looking forward to seeing the film when it’s released in March.
We had a pretty laid back week, but I think it did us all a bit of good and helped us find some of our smiles. What did you do over half term?