A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

Every year I write a letter to my son on his birthday. He never reads them, but he will when he’s older and I hope they remind him of the good times we have and how much he is loved. Here is my letter to him, he is 12 years old today. Happy birthday Ben!

What a time you are living through, the last few years have been a global rollercoaster and you have ridden it well. Today you are 12 years old, and as always on your birthday, I take some time to look back at pictures from your other birthdays and remember the soft cheeked, adorable boy you were.

In the last year you’ve grown up so much. Physically you’re a step or two ahead of the boys you went to primary school with; sporting an increasingly dapper moustache, standing a good head above your friends, your shoulders broadening and your voice losing the gentleness of youth.

It’s hard to be an early starter, I was too and although it’s possibly slightly easier for boys, growing into the body of a man is not a simple process. Nevertheless, you’re dealing with it brilliantly, I know we have had lots of really awkward chats, but I’m glad you’re listening, sharing and asking questions. You’re doing fantastically.

It can’t be easy living in this hormonal house, me with my peri-menopausal moods and you being only just 12 and riddled with your newly minted manly hormones. It’s almost always fine to have a shout at each other, as long as we always follow it up with a hug and a sorry. It’s usually the hormones talking, and not the people we really are underneath.

Ben 2022

This time last year you were at primary school and I was sadly crossing off the weeks until you went to high school. You had a shiny new dyspraxia diagnosis which had taken just 8 short years to receive, and we had to learn some new ways of being. Dyspraxia is hard work, but sometimes you make it look easy.

Days Out: Adventure Now in Manchester

Last year I was worried about how you’d get on in a much bigger school, how you’d cope with the rough and tumble, the homework, the lessons, how you’d get to school and back. I should have saved my worry and trusted in you, because you’re half a term in and you’re nailing it.

Each day you get a small clutch of house points, we’ve had enthusiastic messages from your teachers. You’ve settled in beautifully and you’re finding your stride. You are flying my love, and we couldn’t be prouder of you.

Every few months throughout your life, I’ve stopped and reflected on how things are going, and usually I look back and think that this stage in your life is probably my favourite, and six months later I think that again. The truth is, you’re my favourite and watching you grow into the incredible boy you are has been a real privilege and honestly the highlight of my life.

I know I’m your mum and very biased, but other people say lovely things about you too. Your Dad is madly proud of you, your teachers say you’re kind, keen, helpful, chatty, interested. Others have said how much your confidence has grown recently, how smart you look, how respectful, kind and thoughtful you are. You have your moments when you are not very many of these things, but that’s usually the hormones talking, and not the fine person you are underneath.

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

I hope that you have the very best birthday with some of the friends and family you love most, that we will continue to have such a great friendship. I love sharing a hobby with you, going for walks, going on our regular Wagamama nights out and sharing bags of popcorn while we watch a film. Ben, I hope you know that I treasure all of these times with you. These are the best times.

Happy 12th birthday, Ben. Keep being completely awesome.

Mum xx

A letter to my 8 year old on his birthday

I remember holding you in my arms when you were first born. You were all soft and delicate and people said “treasure every minute, they grow up so fast”. And here we are, about three minutes later and you’re 8 years old.

Days Out: Autumn at Warwick Castle

You were never really that delicate and fragile. You were born weighing 8lbs, 15oz and I remember when you were a day old, you lay on my tummy and lifted your head to look me in the eye. Babies are not supposed to do that, but you did. You’ve been amazing me in big and small ways ever since.

Your life seems to be rushing by in the blink of an eye, but when I sit and think of all the things you’ve done, the places you’ve visited and the things you’ve achieved in the last twelve months, it seems like such a lot.

How we've helped our son reach for the stars, and beyond!

What have you done? You’ve been to Beaver camp twice, you’ve got your first mixed martial arts belt, you’ve done SATs even though you didn’t know you were doing them.

You’re reading chapter books, you’ve done really well with your swimming and you’re moving up to another level soon. You’ve been on a million adventures with us, we’ve been glamping in yurts and pods, we’ve had holidays with friends and just our family. You’ve grown tall and strong and you’re healthy, which I thank the universe for every day.

You are funny and cheeky and so full of love and care. You’re more brilliant than you’ll ever know. I just wish I could give you the confidence you need. Believe in yourself more Sunshine, you CAN do things, you can do anything you want as long as you try.

Little Sports Coaching - learn new footballing skills

I always say, all I ever want from you is to try your best. Be the best Ben you can be and you’ll not go far wrong. You still want to be a Ninja Scientist and although that’s probably a pretty tricky dream to achieve, with some hard work and luck, you could get there.

Be brave Ben, be bold. Carry on being kind and funny, with a smile full of half grown teeth and cheeks deep with dimples. Happy 8th birthday to my best boy. You don’t half make your Mama proud.

October Update - What's going on with us?

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

Each year on my son’s birthday I like to write a blog post for him to look back on in later life. Today my son is 7 and growing up fast. He’s changing in a thousand different ways each day and each week. It’s hard to capture all the changes and all of our adventures in a few paragraphs, but I’ll try.

Dear Ben,

Today you are seven years old and growing up fast. I couldn’t be prouder to be your mum. In the last year we’ve had some grand adventures and I hope we will have many many more.

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

Being six hasn’t always been easy, we’ve been learning to live without your Grandad and we’ve said goodbye to a few special people who I know you miss. You’ve been brave at hospital appointments and you’ve taken everything in your stride. You are a star and I wish I could take every needle and test for you, but I can’t.

Seven. I can’t believe my tiny baby is now a seven year old boy. You’ve grown tall, you’ve grown strong and you’re growing into a funny, charming, chatty boy. You’re working hard at school and I can’t ask for anything more than for you to try hard and listen to your teachers.

We’ve done such fun things while you were six. Penny the crazy puppy burst into our lives and we’ve watched her grow up. We had that brilliant holiday in Ribby Hall, just the two of us, remember? We went to Lapland UK and met Father Christmas. We’ve been rock-pooling, we’ve met sharks and otters, we had that great break in Blackpool where we saw the circus, danced on the prom, rode a donkey and just had a brilliant time together. Shall we do that again?

Keep having brilliant times, keep making brilliant memories and keep being brilliant.

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

We’ve got so many hopes and dreams for you this year my love. We want you to work hard and try hard at school and to carry on reading and learn to love books as much as I did at your age. We’d like you to recognise how special you are, how kind, caring, lovely and funny you are. We want you to be confident and happy in yourself. We want you to know, really know that you are loved and adored by us.

I want you to be happy, I want you to love life and enjoy everything about it. Enjoy being seven Ben, it’s a great age to be and I hope you’ll let me join you on a few of your adventures this year.