Fifteen ways you know you’re a parent… can you think of any more?
- Your bed is inexplicably full of Cheerios.
- You go to work with sudocrem on your trousers and when people point it out you say it’s bum cream, they recoil in horror and you have to point out it’s not your bum cream. This does not dispel the horror.
- Hot drinks are something you enjoyed in the past, a time long, long ago.
- You always have a biscuit and a used tissue in your pocket for emergencies.
- You stop using expensive face cream and use baby lotion instead.
- Boy toddlers leave puddles in the bathroom, so you’re always wearing at least one damp sock that smells a bit funny.
- You don’t need an alarm clock anymore. At 6am someone always wanders in, throws a toy car at your head and demands a snack. Now.
- You eat something involving pesto at least three times a week.
- In the shower you sing “Wind the Bobbin Up” instead of the indie classics from your youth.
- Getting everyone ready and leaving the house, having brushed your hair and ensuring everyone has shoes on in under an hour is an Olympian feat.
- The remote control has been through the washing machine twice and you still can’t find it.
- You spend 42% of your time winding toilet paper back onto the roll.
- Your car is full of raisins and you think the hamster might be nesting in there somewhere.
- Approximately 10 minutes after a successful bedtime you’re so exhausted you decide to turn in for the night. It’s 8.15pm.
- Your idea of tidying up is kicking all the toys out of the way to form a narrow path across the room.
