To my son, on his 14th birthday

As I sit and write this, you have two more weeks of being 13 years old. I’ll post this on my blog on your actual birthday, but two weeks ago I sat on my bed and thought about the last 50 weeks of your life.

Thirteen is universally regarded as a tough age, your body changes, your voice goes a bit weird and friendships and relationships can become more complex.

Physically you’re tall, strong and muscular for a young teen. You tower above your friends and most of your family. You’re growing into a fine looking young man and you’ve more or less mastered regular washing and daily deodorant, for which we are all grateful. I wish you’d get into the same daily habits with your homework, but there’s still some time.

For Christmas you got an electric shaver, because your moustache game is strong and you’re now enjoying, or not particularly enjoying a weekly shave. it often feels like every time I look at you, your features change a little, you’ve grown a bit more, or you’ve discovered some previously untapped wisdom.

Looking back, 2023/2024 has been a fun 12 months. You’ve been on a good selection of holidays, including the school trip to France, you’ve been to Devon, Scotland and Wales a massive six times. You’ve been on Scout camps, a heap of train days out, and other adventures galore.

To my son, on his 14th birthday

You’ve developed a love of sports, and we’ve been to watch rugby matches, cricket, and ice hockey, you love basketball and all kinds of weird and wonderful sports, but rugby is your most favourite. As you read this, you’ll be fresh home from a surprise weekend in Cardiff, where you watched the Wales v Fiji Rugby match.

It’s hard to talk about the last year without acknowledging all the changes in our little lives. It’s been a difficult 12 months at home, with divorce, an imminent house move and ill health affecting our family, you’ve heard a lot of hard news and dealt with all of the changes beautifully. Everything in your life changing at the same time is difficult enough when you’re a fully fledged adult, never mind when you’re a teenager, but you just seem to be absolutely fine with everything, and I really admire how you’re handling things.

It’s been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and change, and to be by your side throughout the last 12 months. You are genuinely hilarious, cheeky, clever, and occasionally very wise. You see the world in different ways to me, and I really appreciate the different perspectives you bring.

I love the way you bring me into your world, and together we’re exploring things I’d never have even looked at before. Our train adventures are brilliant fun, whether it’s just nipping up to Manchester Airport, or surprising you with a long distance trip to Edinburgh, your enthusiasm is infectious and I thank you for bringing such light into my life.

Benjamin, you are the very best human I know. I hope the next 52 weeks are more settled for you, and I hope you continue to find your stride as you move closer to adulthood. I hope you have the confidence to believe in yourself and what you do and to the best you can be in all things. I never ask for perfection, I only ask that you try as much as you’re able and to be open minded about everything.

To my best boy, happy 14th birthday. I love you to the moon and the stars and the planets and back!

Mama xx

To my son, on his 14th birthday

Now you are 13. To my son on his 13th birthday

To my boy,

Last week we went to a Bonfire party and I went to take a selfie of us and realised you’d grown so much, your face wasn’t next to mine in the photo anymore. I’ve been doing a lot of that over the last year. I see you every day, but sometimes I look at you and you’ve suddenly got taller, or your shoes are too small, or your tops are now crop tops!

I look at photos of you as a baby and think that they must be from just a few years ago, but that time has gone in the blink of an eye. They said it would, when every new baby arrives people say, enjoy it, before you know it they’ll be grown and leaving home, and you’re making a good job of growing, though I hope you won’t leave home for a while yet!

To my son on his 13th birthday

In the last year we have been on some adventures. We’ve spent a lot of time on trams and trains, because you really enjoy getting out and about. We have argued countless times about homework and helping out a bit more around the house, or at the very least, not dumping your things wherever you fancy when you walk through the door.

I’ve watched you grow from a boy, to a handsome young man. You’re tall and muscular like your Dad and you’re learning to enjoy the things your new body will let you do, like pick your Dad up and jiggle him about, which is no small thing! I’ve made you sound a bit like The Hulk, but you’re not. You’re gentle and kind and really care about people and animals. You look after your friends at school and stop them being bullied by the less kind members of your year group. It takes a lot to stand up to people and say no, and I couldn’t be prouder of you for doing that.

To my son on his 13th birthday

You’re a teenager now, caught in that eternal struggle between wanting to avoid soap and hot water at all costs, and wanting your hair nice, your spots gone and for the smell of Lynx to follow you everywhere. You’re developing your own sense of style and have definite opinions about fashion. We are learning to enjoy going shopping together, something I never really imagined for myself, but it’s lovely to see you choosing your own clothes and putting together outfits, though you’ve always been very stylish when left to your own devices.

This letter could all just be about how much you’ve grown, which is indisputable. What I wanted to tell you, because although I say it often, I’m not sure you really hear it, is how proud I am of you. You have your struggles with your dyspraxia, but you’re learning ways to conquer that. It may take you a bit longer to master skills, or to get the confidence up to try new things, but you really are tremendous.

You’re a strong swimmer, a brilliant and naturally talented archer, you love going to the gym and lifting weights and smashing it on the cross trainer. You love all forms of transport and if I’m planning a journey, you’re the first person I talk to, because you’ll always find me the best route. You are kind and funny and clever. Most of your teachers are thrilled to have someone as enthusiastic as you in their class. You love geography, science and history, you’re less keen on French, but you’re still somehow really good at it.

To my son on his 13th birthday

Keep doing what you’re doing, because what you’re doing works. I love you so much and you make me proud to be your mum every day. What a privilege it is to be your parent.

Happy birthday my boy. You’re the very best!

Love always,

Mum xx

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

Every year I write a letter to my son on his birthday. He never reads them, but he will when he’s older and I hope they remind him of the good times we have and how much he is loved. Here is my letter to him, he is 12 years old today. Happy birthday Ben!

What a time you are living through, the last few years have been a global rollercoaster and you have ridden it well. Today you are 12 years old, and as always on your birthday, I take some time to look back at pictures from your other birthdays and remember the soft cheeked, adorable boy you were.

In the last year you’ve grown up so much. Physically you’re a step or two ahead of the boys you went to primary school with; sporting an increasingly dapper moustache, standing a good head above your friends, your shoulders broadening and your voice losing the gentleness of youth.

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

It’s hard to be an early starter, I was too and although it’s possibly slightly easier for boys, growing into the body of a man is not a simple process. Nevertheless, you’re dealing with it brilliantly, I know we have had lots of really awkward chats, but I’m glad you’re listening, sharing and asking questions. You’re doing fantastically.

It can’t be easy living in this hormonal house, me with my peri-menopausal moods and you being only just 12 and riddled with your newly minted manly hormones. It’s almost always fine to have a shout at each other, as long as we always follow it up with a hug and a sorry. It’s usually the hormones talking, and not the people we really are underneath.

Ben 2022

This time last year you were at primary school and I was sadly crossing off the weeks until you went to high school. You had a shiny new dyspraxia diagnosis which had taken just 8 short years to receive, and we had to learn some new ways of being. Dyspraxia is hard work, but sometimes you make it look easy.

Days Out: Adventure Now in Manchester

Last year I was worried about how you’d get on in a much bigger school, how you’d cope with the rough and tumble, the homework, the lessons, how you’d get to school and back. I should have saved my worry and trusted in you, because you’re half a term in and you’re nailing it.

Each day you get a small clutch of house points, we’ve had enthusiastic messages from your teachers. You’ve settled in beautifully and you’re finding your stride. You are flying my love, and we couldn’t be prouder of you.

Every few months throughout your life, I’ve stopped and reflected on how things are going, and usually I look back and think that this stage in your life is probably my favourite, and six months later I think that again. The truth is, you’re my favourite and watching you grow into the incredible boy you are has been a real privilege and honestly the highlight of my life.

I know I’m your mum and very biased, but other people say lovely things about you too. Your Dad is madly proud of you, your teachers say you’re kind, keen, helpful, chatty, interested. Others have said how much your confidence has grown recently, how smart you look, how respectful, kind and thoughtful you are. You have your moments when you are not very many of these things, but that’s usually the hormones talking, and not the fine person you are underneath.

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

I hope that you have the very best birthday with some of the friends and family you love most, that we will continue to have such a great friendship. I love sharing a hobby with you, going for walks, going on our regular Wagamama nights out and sharing bags of popcorn while we watch a film. Ben, I hope you know that I treasure all of these times with you. These are the best times.

Happy 12th birthday, Ben. Keep being completely awesome.

Mum xx

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

Darling boy,

Today you are 11 years old. It is 11 years since I first met you and held you in my arms. You were a determined little chap even then. In your first 24 hours, you lay on my chest and you lifted your head up to look at me. All the books said you shouldn’t be able to do that yet, but you’d not read the book, or any of the other parenting manuals, so you’ve never really followed the suggested timeline of things. You’ve always written your own pages, developed at your own pace and done your growing up on your own terms. I hope you know that I admire you hugely for that.

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

As I write this, you are almost as tall as me and soon you will be the one reaching for things in hard to reach kitchen cupboards for me. You are as stubborn as a field of mules and push back harder than a bulldozer, I suspect your teenage years will be both colourful and challenging. I only hope that I am able to support you as you grow and you know that whatever life throws at you, good or bad, that I will be there to help you through the bad times and cheer wildly all of your successes.

I write you a letter like this every year, and what a year it has been. The coronavirus has meant that for at least half of the last 12 months we have been in some kind of lockdown or reduced social circumstances. You’ve handled this beautifully, you’ve understood why you couldn’t see friends, have a 10th birthday party; why we ate Christmas dinner outside while it snowed and why so many of our usual days out and fun things had more or less stopped. Like many, you have railed against the injustice of missing out on meeting up with your friends, but you’ve been great at making the best of things, and that’s all I could ever ask of you.

Purezza Manchester - Vegan pizza in the NQ

In the last 12 months we have finally (finally!) got a diagnosis of dyspraxia for you. This explains all kinds of things about you and the many ways you are unique and wonderful and challenging and amazing. Yes, life will always hold some struggles for you, but I hope you know that your brain difference can be a kind of superpower for you. You are brilliant and you see the world in the kinds of colourful and exciting ways that I can only dream of. Along with the challenges which face you, you are blessed with enormous gifts and people admire you.

Yes, people really do admire you. They love your kindness and sense of humour, your capacity for caring for others. They love your enthusiasm for life; your ability to chat to anyone who will listen to you about whatever your topic of the day is. You’re an only child, but you can get along with pretty much anyone and you have no problems sharing or anything like that. In fact you’re incredibly generous with your things and always save me some of your sweets or whatever treats you have. You have a kind and generous soul and I hope people don’t take advantage of that or you.

Today you are 11. I know time marches on, but I can’t quite believe my tiny baby is a strapping lad on the verge of secondary school. The next 12 months will see lots of changes coming your way. It’ll all be alright, secondary school will be brilliant for you and I hope they will help you be the best that you can be.

World Book Day: Enjoying World of Walliams bedding

I’m so glad that we are able to give you a birthday party this year. I am so glad the whole family can gather for a meal to celebrate your 11 years in this planet. I’m so glad I’ve known you all this time; I can honestly say that it has been nothing short of a privilege to watch you grow and to have you in my life.

Happy birthday to my best boy. I love you to the moon and the stars and the planets and back!

Mama xx

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

A letter to my 10 year old on his birthday

Darling boy, today is your 10th birthday and although I’ve known for some time that today you’d be waking up a whole year older, it’s a bit of a blow to realise that I’m now the parent of a human being in double figures. A ten year old no less!

2020 has been quite the year, mostly for reasons we would probably rather forget. You’ve endured this year with your characteristic cheerfulness and always been the one to crack a joke at the gloomiest moment and have us all laughing again.

This year has been a challenge for us all, you’ve tried your hardest during those long months of home schooling, which I’m sorry to say, we all grew to hate. You’ve been brilliantly brave about not seeing your friends, and not spending time with anyone but your fairly boring 40 something year old parents for months on end.

A letter to my 10 year old on his birthday

It shouldn’t be this way. You should be out in the park with all your friends after school, you should be huddled in the playground swapping Pokémon cards and going on Cub camps and all of those kind of things. Instead you are making the best of things and I’m incredibly proud of you.

It’s not been easy, being back at school has made a huge difference to you and your happiness and we’ve talked endlessly about your birthday plans. I’m sorry my love, there will be no traditional birthday party, but instead it’s a zoom party with some of your friends, and that’s fine.

We can’t even gather the whole family around the table for cake and celebrations. Instead there will be a socially distanced walk around the park with your Cousin and your favourite takeaway curry for tea. Of course your Dad and I will make a fuss of you and you can expect the biggest, most colourful cake you can imagine. But it won’t be the same.

I will make this up to you. I promise.

A letter to my 10 year old on his birthday

It’s hard to find some highlights to remember for this year. For me it’s been the small things, or what may seem small to anyone else. Being able to spend so much extra time with you has been brilliant. During lockdown we read more, did crafts together, went on walks, we baked and snuggled down to watch films together. Most importantly we laughed together and that saved me and I hope it helped you too.

Every day I’ve spent as your mum has been an absolute privilege. You are the brightest bean, you’re full of love and care and kindness for everyone you meet. I couldn’t imagine a day without a cuddle from my squidgy little baby. Although these days my squidgy little baby is almost as tall as me and has legs that go on forever.

Of course, with your new great age comes new responsibilities. Now you are ten we will expect you to tidy up after yourself, brush your teeth without complaint, help cook our evening meals and be able to find your own shoes in the morning (they’re normally where you threw them the night before).

When you were born, I wanted to raise a kind boy, full of care for others, and I think we’ve managed that. You are not perfect (a quick glance at your bedroom can confirm that); but you have all of the qualities which I hope will help you become a lovely and loving adult. I wish you believed in yourself and your abilities as much as we do, and as much as your teachers do too. You are brilliant.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that my little baby is 10. Where did the time go? Thank you for filling the last ten years with love and laughter. I hope you have the best birthday we can manage during lockdown. If 2020 has taught me anything; it’s that stripping everything back to basics can make us appreciate everything all the more. And that life is sweet, especially with you in it.

Happy birthday to my best boy xxx

A letter to my 10 year old on his birthday

Back to Hogwarts – back to school in style with Hogwarts

AD – PR Sample, we were sent some Harry Potter Hogwarts back to school accessories for the purposes of this review. All images and opinions are our own.

I am happy to hold my hands up to say that I hate all the back to school shopping. All the queuing around shopping centres to get the equipment he needs and all of the uniform faff. These days I’m very happy to order it all online and have done with it. I tend to leave buying things until the last minute, lest he has a sudden and unexpected growth spurt. Whilst his uniform is fairly generic, it’s in his accessories where he likes to express himself. This year, Hogwarts is the favoured theme.

Back to Hogwarts - back to school in style with Hogwarts

We’ve long been fans of Harry Potter, and the perennial question of which Hogwarts House would the sorting hat choose for us is one which we continue to argue about. I’ve taken all the online quizzes and I get a different answer each time, you might a well shove me in Slytherin and throw away the key. The boy however is Hufflepuff, or at least he is this week.

Hogwarts House Backpack

Every Harry Potter fan needs a backpack for school and the new Hogwarts Houses backpacks are brilliant. Each one comes in the House colour with the coat of arms too. They look very smart, they’re vegan and big enough to carry everything he needs for the school day. In fact, they’re the perfect size for my work day too, so once I settle on a House (the Ravenclaw one is a beautiful colour), I will be getting a new one for work. They cost £14 and are padded in all the right places. I’m a big fan.

Back to Hogwarts - back to school in style with Hogwarts

Harry Potter Lunch Bag & Water Bottle

The Harry Potter lunch bag is also a big hit. The very cute cartoon figures of Harry, Hermione and Ron are really eye catching, so I know he’ll be able to find his lunch in a pile of other bags and boxes. The bag comes with a carry handle, yellow piping around the zip closure and a handy name tag section on the back. There’s plenty of room inside for a hearty lunch for a budding wizard. The lunch bag costs £7, but is currently £6 at ASDA.

Alongside the lunch bag, there’s a distinctive water bottle. In school, everyone has their own water bottle in class which they fill up every day. This has a 473ml capacity, and all over print design with a yellow screw-on lid featuring a flip up spout and carry handle. The water bottle is £4 but currently £3 at ASDA.

Harry Potter Stationery

Everyone loves stationery and ASDA have an awful love of the Harry Potter range available. We have the pencil case which comes with a pen, a pencil, a ruler, a rubber and a pencil sharpener. It costs just £2 and apart from the need for spares, that’s everything my son needs for his school year. At that price I’d be tempted to buy a couple and keep one for spares when he loses bits and pieces. ASDA also have notebooks, pens, pencils, pretty much everything you could think of for the return to school.

Back to Hogwarts - back to school in style with Hogwarts

Thankfully, apart from school shoes, he is all set for going back to school this week. I’m not sure how much he is looking forward to it, these are strange times we are living in and school will be quite a bit different for him. We’ve been filling the last few days before he goes back with fun things. We’ve spent a couple of days building the new LEGO Hedwig figure, which is suitable for ages 10+. It’s quite a complicated build, but very satisfying. Once it’s finished, his wings will flap when you turn the handle. It’s only £34.97, but it’s kept us both quiet for a couple of days. Brilliant fun.

Back to Hogwarts - back to school in style with Hogwarts

What do you think of the new Hogwarts back to school range? Which Hogwarts House would you be in?

Putting Trutex School Uniform to the test

We were sent these items from Trutex for review purposes. All images and opinions are our own.

My son grows like a weed. Every couple of months he seems to shoot up another inch and he needs a whole new school uniform. With him also enjoying the rough and tumble of school life, he also needs a school uniform which will stand up to the rigours of crawling about in the playground, or a boil wash after an especially beany school dinner. Over the last few weeks we’ve been putting his new Trutex school uniform through its paces.

Putting Trutex School Uniform to the test

We have had Trutex school uniforms before and they’ve always been warm and comfortable, they’ve washed well and tolerated the beating my son manages to give his clothes during the average school day.

School trousers

For us, we are regular buyers of school trousers, his legs seem to grow quicker than anything and before long they’re half-mast and in need of replacing. We chose a pair of the charcoal sturdy fit trouser with internal adjuster. I’m a big fan of the internal adjuster; the tape inside the waistband which you can adjust to tighten or loosen the waistband. I think all trousers should have this, even adult trousers. The trousers come with “TrutexStay Smart technology” which makes washing and ironing easier, the trouser creases are permanent and they have a stain resistant finish. There’s also a hidden side pocket to zip up small valuables; valuables to my boy are mostly marbles and conkers, but it’s handy to have. These trousers cost £16.99 per pair, my son has been wearing them since Christmas and they look as good as new.

Putting Trutex School Uniform to the test

School jumpers

We are lucky that my son’s school lets children wear uniform which doesn’t have the school badge on. This makes shopping for jumpers a lot easier and cheaper too. The crew neck sweatshirt from Trutex costs £9.99 but will likely last a whole year before he grows out of it (legs are the fast growing danger-zone in our house). At £9.99 a jumper we usually get 2 or 3 to last the year and hope he doesn’t have any major wardrobe malfunctions while he’s wearing it.

The crew neck sweatshirt is available in a rainbow of colours. Our school is resolutely navy, so we plumped for that. It’s a soft, regular fit sweatshirt which has reinforced seams, to help withstand the school day. It’s a very solid uniform choice and I would happily buy and buy these until he leaves school.

Cosy Fleece Jacket

For my son, the star of the show is this Polar Fleece jacket from Trutex. Not only is it available in his school colours, it’s warm, cosy and comfortable. He often ditches his school jumper in favour of this, as he’s not a fan of too many layers. The jacket costs £13.99 and is so popular with my lad, I’m going to buy him another couple in different colours to wear out of school too. It’s stood the test of time and still looks as good as new. I’m a big fan of the school uniform fleece; especially for boys like mine who have some sensory needs and don’t always love to be bundled up in a jumper. Fleeces are such easy care too and dry almost instantly after a wash.

Back to School: Putting Trutex School Uniform to the test

When it comes to school uniforms, we need well-made pieces which can stand up to rough play and frequent washing. My boy has been wearing his new uniform since Christmas, and after a few months of rough and tumble, it’s all still looking as good as new, we can’t fault it.

For more information about Trutex and to check out their range, visit their website.

Note: I originally wrote this post back in March 2020. Due to lockdown it has been sat in my drafts ever since. Good luck if you’re returning to school next month.

A letter to my son on his 9th birthday

Darling boy, it doesn’t seem like five minutes since you turned 8, and here we are a whole 365 days later blowing the candles out on your 9th birthday cake.

In many ways you’ve not changed all that much in the last 12 months. You’re still all about the lego, never too far away from a train set, you’re still kicking ass at martial arts; you love drawing, baking, gardening and you’re really into learning all about nature. You are curious about the world around you, and that’s such a lovely thing to experience with you.

You’re trying hard at school, your teachers tell me that you’re popular and you have lots of friends. You are brilliant at science and art; you love history and geography, as well as reading everything you can get your hands on. You have your challenges and areas where you could try a bit harder, but I know as well as anybody, it’s not always easy to try hard in a subject you don’t enjoy all that much. Keep trying though, because if nothing else, we never give up.

You’re growing tall and strong, you have a smile which really lights up the room and dimples we have to be careful we don’t fall into. You’re utterly charming and chatty, but most of all you are kind and thoughtful. I’ve had a tough few months, but you’ve always been generous with your hugs for me and spending time with you is always a good thing.

Now I’m working again, our time seems even more precious. I love that we have special things we share together; watching Strictly Come Dancing with you on a Saturday night, sharing a bag of popcorn and guessing what scores the judges will award is always a highlight. I like that we still bake together and you still reach for my hand when we are walking to school together in the mornings. I love when you squeeze my hand and let me know in our secret code that you love me, I squeeze it right back to return the love, and then some.

Your room still looks like it’s been ransacked by especially vindictive burglars and the daily shouting sessions we have about putting your shoes on are getting a little wearing. But none of us are perfect and there’s little point in trying to be. You are imperfect and all the more interesting and wonderful for those imperfections.

9th birthday

I look at you, my tall and gorgeous 9 year old boy and I see the man I think you will grow into. I think you will be the kindest person, you will have lots of friends, people will come to you when they need someone understanding to talk to. I think you can be whatever you want to be, but I see you working outdoors, maybe in some kind of conservation job or maybe as a farmer. Whatever you want to be, I will try my hardest to help make that come true for you.

When you were born, people said enjoy the baby years, they slip away all too quickly. Every year with you has been a joy. I’ve loved watching you grow and learn, and in turn I have grown and learned a lot about myself too. You’ve taught me so much about life and love and you’ve made me strong in ways I never thought I could be.

Being your mum has been the best thing I’ve ever done. Watching you grow into the brilliant boy you are has been nothing short of a privilege. This is your last year in single digits, you’re really going to start changing in all kinds of ways over the next few years. Keep being kind and caring, carry on being funny and silly and if you just try your best in all things you won’t go far wrong. I love you and there’s nothing you could do that will stop me being your biggest fan.

Happy 9th birthday my darling boy, blow out those candles, floss along to the birthday singing, have a brilliant time at your party, celebrate with the people who love you best, enjoy life. You only get one go at it, so live it in the best way you can. I love you xxx

Our summer – living with lovely chaos

This morning my son went off to spend the day with his cousin. There’s not a lot that’s unusual about this, but it’s been a date which has been in my diary for weeks. It’s been a little beacon of peace in what has been quite a busy summer. I’ve been looking forward to today for ages. I had grand plans to catch up on some work, do a bit of life admin, tidy up a bit and maybe just sit and watch something on TV, something which isn’t Horrid Henry!

I’ve done most of my work, I’ve done my life admin and drunk some still hot when I got to them drinks. It’s been very useful, but I’ve not loved it. I went on Twitter and just tweeted about my day, I described our days together as lovely chaos, and in that I think I perfectly described him and us and our family life.

Family Festival Review: Just So Festival 2019

Like many family homes a late night walk to the bathroom means you run the gauntlet of discarded toys. There’s still an element of paddling when you go to the loo, the dining table is covered with half made crafts, science experiments, and drawings he has done or is doing. I don’t have a living room, I have a room which is given over to a wonderfully complex wooden train set which I’m pretty much forbidden to touch, lest I do something wrong.

The kitchen is a mess, mostly of his making. His constant school holiday hunger is driving me close to bankruptcy. I can’t make, bake or buy enough food to fill his belly each day. His favourite snack is toast which he’s recently learned to make himself. My kitchen is now given over to shifting dunes of toast crumbs and sticky surfaces where he’s dolloped honey or jam.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

This summer hasn’t always felt like my favourite. He’s pushed back a bit, he’s trying to assert himself and I’m giving way where I need to, he’s 8 now and needs room to grow into himself. Equally, he’s 8 now and needs to stop thinking he is king of the house and my direct line manager. He needs to learn to give and take and to listen to me. Like the time I told him not to walk into ankle deep mud whilst wearing the only shoes he had with him for the weekend.

Glamping at Camp Katur, North Yorkshire

The house seems too quiet, too tidy and too big without him. He goes back to school next week and I’m getting a little taste of my days without his lovely chaos. I will miss him and all the really ace stuff we’ve been doing, but he needs to get back into a routine. I need to start cracking on with my life and it would be nice to get my house back to something approaching tidy.

I’ve loved my summer of lovely chaos with my boy, the highs have been high and the lows thankfully not too low. We’ve been on adventures, we’ve done a million things, but being with my boy, learning with him and about him is the loveliest thing of all.

What my son’s school report doesn’t tell me

I’ve just had a message from school to say that your school report will be coming home tomorrow. This is perhaps my least favourite day of your school year.

I see a child who has made incredible leaps since September. I see a boy who loves reading, and writes me notes about how much he loves me. My boy is someone who skips down the road shouting out his three times table. I see a boy who needs extra help, but tries so hard to help himself.

Your school report will tell me facts, facts that I’m not that interested in really. It will tell me your scores for tests which mean nothing to me, you or your future. It will tell me where you’re expected to be at this age and where you actually are. What it won’t tell me is how happy you are at school. It won’t tell me about the kind things you did to make the new boy feel welcome, or that time you reeled off a huge list of Viking facts the rest of your class, and perhaps even your teacher hadn’t learned about yet.

It won’t uplift and shine a light on the huge efforts you’ve made with your writing this year and how you’ve gone from hating everything about writing to scribbling notes on every available scrap of paper, and sometimes even my walls. Your report won’t tell me about how you’ve grown to love drawing and even got pretty good at it. It won’t tell me about how good you are at swimming and martial arts, or how you are learning to identify all the different trees we pass on our walks.

Your school report will tell me in bald terms how you match up against your peers and where you are lagging behind. There may be passing mention of some of what makes you my bold, brilliant, funny, kind and interested boy, but your school report doesn’t define you to me.

Your school report is largely a time consuming tick box exercise for your teacher. It needs to be done, but its contents are of little or no interest to me. To me you are an individual with a million strengths. You are a unique and wonderful personality. I have no idea where you will go in life, what you will be, even who you will be. All I care about is that you are happy and healthy, that you are kind and you are liked and that you try hard. Not everyone can be good at everything, we’ve got to try a lot of things to find our strengths and you have a great many of those my darling, and most of them won’t be listed in your school report.

I won’t show you the report, it’ll be read and then put in a box for a future us to read. Maybe in ten or twenty years you will find it and read it. I hope when you do you will remember the boy who tried hard above all else and a boy who was happy and loved.

I have spoken to your teachers and met with them regularly. They know and love you as the enthusiastic and interested individual you are. They do know your strengths and your capabilities, they do know the giant leaps you have made this year. But this will not come across in your school report. If you read it, do not take it to heart my dear boy; you are all I could have wished you to be and more. I’d change nothing about you, except your ability to tidy your own room.

Four pieces of paper do not define you to me; they do not define your future or anything of any serious consequence. Keep being brilliant and interested in the world; please keep learning and wanting to learn. Keep trying hard, because that is all I could ever ask of you, my brilliant darling boy.

What my son's school report doesn't tell me