To my son, on his 14th birthday

As I sit and write this, you have two more weeks of being 13 years old. I’ll post this on my blog on your actual birthday, but two weeks ago I sat on my bed and thought about the last 50 weeks of your life.

Thirteen is universally regarded as a tough age, your body changes, your voice goes a bit weird and friendships and relationships can become more complex.

Physically you’re tall, strong and muscular for a young teen. You tower above your friends and most of your family. You’re growing into a fine looking young man and you’ve more or less mastered regular washing and daily deodorant, for which we are all grateful. I wish you’d get into the same daily habits with your homework, but there’s still some time.

For Christmas you got an electric shaver, because your moustache game is strong and you’re now enjoying, or not particularly enjoying a weekly shave. it often feels like every time I look at you, your features change a little, you’ve grown a bit more, or you’ve discovered some previously untapped wisdom.

Looking back, 2023/2024 has been a fun 12 months. You’ve been on a good selection of holidays, including the school trip to France, you’ve been to Devon, Scotland and Wales a massive six times. You’ve been on Scout camps, a heap of train days out, and other adventures galore.

To my son, on his 14th birthday

You’ve developed a love of sports, and we’ve been to watch rugby matches, cricket, and ice hockey, you love basketball and all kinds of weird and wonderful sports, but rugby is your most favourite. As you read this, you’ll be fresh home from a surprise weekend in Cardiff, where you watched the Wales v Fiji Rugby match.

It’s hard to talk about the last year without acknowledging all the changes in our little lives. It’s been a difficult 12 months at home, with divorce, an imminent house move and ill health affecting our family, you’ve heard a lot of hard news and dealt with all of the changes beautifully. Everything in your life changing at the same time is difficult enough when you’re a fully fledged adult, never mind when you’re a teenager, but you just seem to be absolutely fine with everything, and I really admire how you’re handling things.

It’s been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and change, and to be by your side throughout the last 12 months. You are genuinely hilarious, cheeky, clever, and occasionally very wise. You see the world in different ways to me, and I really appreciate the different perspectives you bring.

I love the way you bring me into your world, and together we’re exploring things I’d never have even looked at before. Our train adventures are brilliant fun, whether it’s just nipping up to Manchester Airport, or surprising you with a long distance trip to Edinburgh, your enthusiasm is infectious and I thank you for bringing such light into my life.

Benjamin, you are the very best human I know. I hope the next 52 weeks are more settled for you, and I hope you continue to find your stride as you move closer to adulthood. I hope you have the confidence to believe in yourself and what you do and to the best you can be in all things. I never ask for perfection, I only ask that you try as much as you’re able and to be open minded about everything.

To my best boy, happy 14th birthday. I love you to the moon and the stars and the planets and back!

Mama xx

To my son, on his 14th birthday

Now you are 13. To my son on his 13th birthday

To my boy,

Last week we went to a Bonfire party and I went to take a selfie of us and realised you’d grown so much, your face wasn’t next to mine in the photo anymore. I’ve been doing a lot of that over the last year. I see you every day, but sometimes I look at you and you’ve suddenly got taller, or your shoes are too small, or your tops are now crop tops!

I look at photos of you as a baby and think that they must be from just a few years ago, but that time has gone in the blink of an eye. They said it would, when every new baby arrives people say, enjoy it, before you know it they’ll be grown and leaving home, and you’re making a good job of growing, though I hope you won’t leave home for a while yet!

To my son on his 13th birthday

In the last year we have been on some adventures. We’ve spent a lot of time on trams and trains, because you really enjoy getting out and about. We have argued countless times about homework and helping out a bit more around the house, or at the very least, not dumping your things wherever you fancy when you walk through the door.

I’ve watched you grow from a boy, to a handsome young man. You’re tall and muscular like your Dad and you’re learning to enjoy the things your new body will let you do, like pick your Dad up and jiggle him about, which is no small thing! I’ve made you sound a bit like The Hulk, but you’re not. You’re gentle and kind and really care about people and animals. You look after your friends at school and stop them being bullied by the less kind members of your year group. It takes a lot to stand up to people and say no, and I couldn’t be prouder of you for doing that.

To my son on his 13th birthday

You’re a teenager now, caught in that eternal struggle between wanting to avoid soap and hot water at all costs, and wanting your hair nice, your spots gone and for the smell of Lynx to follow you everywhere. You’re developing your own sense of style and have definite opinions about fashion. We are learning to enjoy going shopping together, something I never really imagined for myself, but it’s lovely to see you choosing your own clothes and putting together outfits, though you’ve always been very stylish when left to your own devices.

This letter could all just be about how much you’ve grown, which is indisputable. What I wanted to tell you, because although I say it often, I’m not sure you really hear it, is how proud I am of you. You have your struggles with your dyspraxia, but you’re learning ways to conquer that. It may take you a bit longer to master skills, or to get the confidence up to try new things, but you really are tremendous.

You’re a strong swimmer, a brilliant and naturally talented archer, you love going to the gym and lifting weights and smashing it on the cross trainer. You love all forms of transport and if I’m planning a journey, you’re the first person I talk to, because you’ll always find me the best route. You are kind and funny and clever. Most of your teachers are thrilled to have someone as enthusiastic as you in their class. You love geography, science and history, you’re less keen on French, but you’re still somehow really good at it.

To my son on his 13th birthday

Keep doing what you’re doing, because what you’re doing works. I love you so much and you make me proud to be your mum every day. What a privilege it is to be your parent.

Happy birthday my boy. You’re the very best!

Love always,

Mum xx

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

Every year I write a letter to my son on his birthday. He never reads them, but he will when he’s older and I hope they remind him of the good times we have and how much he is loved. Here is my letter to him, he is 12 years old today. Happy birthday Ben!

What a time you are living through, the last few years have been a global rollercoaster and you have ridden it well. Today you are 12 years old, and as always on your birthday, I take some time to look back at pictures from your other birthdays and remember the soft cheeked, adorable boy you were.

In the last year you’ve grown up so much. Physically you’re a step or two ahead of the boys you went to primary school with; sporting an increasingly dapper moustache, standing a good head above your friends, your shoulders broadening and your voice losing the gentleness of youth.

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

It’s hard to be an early starter, I was too and although it’s possibly slightly easier for boys, growing into the body of a man is not a simple process. Nevertheless, you’re dealing with it brilliantly, I know we have had lots of really awkward chats, but I’m glad you’re listening, sharing and asking questions. You’re doing fantastically.

It can’t be easy living in this hormonal house, me with my peri-menopausal moods and you being only just 12 and riddled with your newly minted manly hormones. It’s almost always fine to have a shout at each other, as long as we always follow it up with a hug and a sorry. It’s usually the hormones talking, and not the people we really are underneath.

Ben 2022

This time last year you were at primary school and I was sadly crossing off the weeks until you went to high school. You had a shiny new dyspraxia diagnosis which had taken just 8 short years to receive, and we had to learn some new ways of being. Dyspraxia is hard work, but sometimes you make it look easy.

Days Out: Adventure Now in Manchester

Last year I was worried about how you’d get on in a much bigger school, how you’d cope with the rough and tumble, the homework, the lessons, how you’d get to school and back. I should have saved my worry and trusted in you, because you’re half a term in and you’re nailing it.

Each day you get a small clutch of house points, we’ve had enthusiastic messages from your teachers. You’ve settled in beautifully and you’re finding your stride. You are flying my love, and we couldn’t be prouder of you.

Every few months throughout your life, I’ve stopped and reflected on how things are going, and usually I look back and think that this stage in your life is probably my favourite, and six months later I think that again. The truth is, you’re my favourite and watching you grow into the incredible boy you are has been a real privilege and honestly the highlight of my life.

I know I’m your mum and very biased, but other people say lovely things about you too. Your Dad is madly proud of you, your teachers say you’re kind, keen, helpful, chatty, interested. Others have said how much your confidence has grown recently, how smart you look, how respectful, kind and thoughtful you are. You have your moments when you are not very many of these things, but that’s usually the hormones talking, and not the fine person you are underneath.

A letter to my son, on his 12th birthday

I hope that you have the very best birthday with some of the friends and family you love most, that we will continue to have such a great friendship. I love sharing a hobby with you, going for walks, going on our regular Wagamama nights out and sharing bags of popcorn while we watch a film. Ben, I hope you know that I treasure all of these times with you. These are the best times.

Happy 12th birthday, Ben. Keep being completely awesome.

Mum xx

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

Darling boy,

Today you are 11 years old. It is 11 years since I first met you and held you in my arms. You were a determined little chap even then. In your first 24 hours, you lay on my chest and you lifted your head up to look at me. All the books said you shouldn’t be able to do that yet, but you’d not read the book, or any of the other parenting manuals, so you’ve never really followed the suggested timeline of things. You’ve always written your own pages, developed at your own pace and done your growing up on your own terms. I hope you know that I admire you hugely for that.

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

As I write this, you are almost as tall as me and soon you will be the one reaching for things in hard to reach kitchen cupboards for me. You are as stubborn as a field of mules and push back harder than a bulldozer, I suspect your teenage years will be both colourful and challenging. I only hope that I am able to support you as you grow and you know that whatever life throws at you, good or bad, that I will be there to help you through the bad times and cheer wildly all of your successes.

I write you a letter like this every year, and what a year it has been. The coronavirus has meant that for at least half of the last 12 months we have been in some kind of lockdown or reduced social circumstances. You’ve handled this beautifully, you’ve understood why you couldn’t see friends, have a 10th birthday party; why we ate Christmas dinner outside while it snowed and why so many of our usual days out and fun things had more or less stopped. Like many, you have railed against the injustice of missing out on meeting up with your friends, but you’ve been great at making the best of things, and that’s all I could ever ask of you.

Purezza Manchester - Vegan pizza in the NQ

In the last 12 months we have finally (finally!) got a diagnosis of dyspraxia for you. This explains all kinds of things about you and the many ways you are unique and wonderful and challenging and amazing. Yes, life will always hold some struggles for you, but I hope you know that your brain difference can be a kind of superpower for you. You are brilliant and you see the world in the kinds of colourful and exciting ways that I can only dream of. Along with the challenges which face you, you are blessed with enormous gifts and people admire you.

Yes, people really do admire you. They love your kindness and sense of humour, your capacity for caring for others. They love your enthusiasm for life; your ability to chat to anyone who will listen to you about whatever your topic of the day is. You’re an only child, but you can get along with pretty much anyone and you have no problems sharing or anything like that. In fact you’re incredibly generous with your things and always save me some of your sweets or whatever treats you have. You have a kind and generous soul and I hope people don’t take advantage of that or you.

Today you are 11. I know time marches on, but I can’t quite believe my tiny baby is a strapping lad on the verge of secondary school. The next 12 months will see lots of changes coming your way. It’ll all be alright, secondary school will be brilliant for you and I hope they will help you be the best that you can be.

World Book Day: Enjoying World of Walliams bedding

I’m so glad that we are able to give you a birthday party this year. I am so glad the whole family can gather for a meal to celebrate your 11 years in this planet. I’m so glad I’ve known you all this time; I can honestly say that it has been nothing short of a privilege to watch you grow and to have you in my life.

Happy birthday to my best boy. I love you to the moon and the stars and the planets and back!

Mama xx

A letter to my son, on his 11th birthday

A letter to my 8 year old on his birthday

I remember holding you in my arms when you were first born. You were all soft and delicate and people said “treasure every minute, they grow up so fast”. And here we are, about three minutes later and you’re 8 years old.

Days Out: Autumn at Warwick Castle

You were never really that delicate and fragile. You were born weighing 8lbs, 15oz and I remember when you were a day old, you lay on my tummy and lifted your head to look me in the eye. Babies are not supposed to do that, but you did. You’ve been amazing me in big and small ways ever since.

Your life seems to be rushing by in the blink of an eye, but when I sit and think of all the things you’ve done, the places you’ve visited and the things you’ve achieved in the last twelve months, it seems like such a lot.

How we've helped our son reach for the stars, and beyond!

What have you done? You’ve been to Beaver camp twice, you’ve got your first mixed martial arts belt, you’ve done SATs even though you didn’t know you were doing them.

You’re reading chapter books, you’ve done really well with your swimming and you’re moving up to another level soon. You’ve been on a million adventures with us, we’ve been glamping in yurts and pods, we’ve had holidays with friends and just our family. You’ve grown tall and strong and you’re healthy, which I thank the universe for every day.

You are funny and cheeky and so full of love and care. You’re more brilliant than you’ll ever know. I just wish I could give you the confidence you need. Believe in yourself more Sunshine, you CAN do things, you can do anything you want as long as you try.

Little Sports Coaching - learn new footballing skills

I always say, all I ever want from you is to try your best. Be the best Ben you can be and you’ll not go far wrong. You still want to be a Ninja Scientist and although that’s probably a pretty tricky dream to achieve, with some hard work and luck, you could get there.

Be brave Ben, be bold. Carry on being kind and funny, with a smile full of half grown teeth and cheeks deep with dimples. Happy 8th birthday to my best boy. You don’t half make your Mama proud.

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How to make a really easy Volcano Birthday Cake

For my son’s 7th birthday he wanted me to make him a Volcano Birthday Cake. I am by no means an expert cake decorator, so I knew whatever I made would need to be really simple to put together. The great thing about making a volcano cake if you’re not an expert cake decorator, is if it looks a bit rough and rustic when you’ve finished, it all adds to the rugged volcanic charm.

A few years of watching The Great British Bake Off has given me a few ideas, so I sketched the plan and set to work. You will need six round sponge cakes. I also used my favourite kind of shop bought frosting – Morrison’s Chocolate & Brazilian Orange Frosting. It’s the best shop bought frosting I’ve ever tried and it’s well worth searching out. If you can’t find it, use whatever chocolate frosting you can get your hands on.

How to make an easy Volcano Birthday Cake

Here’s how I made my pre-historic Volcano Cake.

How to make a Volcano Birthday Cake

You will need:

6 round sponge cakes (I used 9 inch tins)
2 tubs of Morrisons Chocolate & Brazilian Orange Frosting
Dr Oetker Regal Ice Ready to Roll Icing pack of multi-coloured icing
Wooden skewers or long straws
Selection of small plastic dinosaurs
Fountain Sparkler candle
One cupcake per letter of name (eg Ben = 3 cupcakes)
Birthday candles
Wooden letters spelling name

How to build your cake:

On a large clean tray or board put a dollop of Morrisons Chocolate & Brazilian Orange Frosting and start to build your volcano on top of this. The frosting will help to anchor the cake in place.

Sandwich your six layers of cake on top of each other with a layer of the Morrisons Chocolate & Brazilian Orange Frosting in between each cake. Take your skewers or straws and push then down from the top of your volcano structure down through the six layers to the bottom, this will make the cake more stable.

Carefully using a knife, carve your cake structure into a volcano shape. It doesn’t have to be perfect, remember if it’s rustic it all adds to the charm. Dust as many loose crumbs off your cake as you can and then start to plaster the whole cake in the Morrisons Chocolate & Brazilian Orange Frosting. Once it’s completely covered, leave it to harden a little for an hour or so.

How to make an easy Volcano Birthday Cake

Taking the red and yellow icing from the Dr Oetker Regal Ice Ready to Roll Icing pack, cut each pack of icing in half. Set aside half of each pack and with the other halves, knead them together to make an orange coloured icing.

Here’s where you can get artistic. Roll pieces of the red, yellow and orange icing into rivulets of lava and press them into your volcano. Make sure there’s plenty of lava coming out of the top and running down the sides. You might want to pool some lava at the bottom of the volcano.

How to make an easy Volcano Birthday Cake

Taking your dinosaurs and a little of the chocolate orange frosting (to stick the dinosaurs in place) add some dinos to the scene. Again be artistic; get them caught in the lava, running away from it, have them in little family groups, whatever you want.

Take your cupcakes and top with some frosting; wedge a letter on the top of each one and using the frosting on the bottom of the cupcakes, stick them in place to spell out the name. Again you can have dinosaurs around the cakes, or looking like they’re eating them maybe.

How to make an easy Volcano Birthday Cake

To finish your cake, put the fountain sparkler candle in the top (so when you light it, it should sparkle and flame like a volcano.

My son was absolutely delighted with his volcano birthday cake, and his friends were pretty impressed too. It’s surprisingly simple to put together and it doesn’t have be perfect in order for it to be impressive. I dread to think what he’s going to ask for next year!

How to make an easy Volcano Birthday Cake

How to make a really easy Volcano Birthday Cake

If a volcano cake doesn’t cut it, what about this super-simple train birthday cake?

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

Each year on my son’s birthday I like to write a blog post for him to look back on in later life. Today my son is 7 and growing up fast. He’s changing in a thousand different ways each day and each week. It’s hard to capture all the changes and all of our adventures in a few paragraphs, but I’ll try.

Dear Ben,

Today you are seven years old and growing up fast. I couldn’t be prouder to be your mum. In the last year we’ve had some grand adventures and I hope we will have many many more.

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

Being six hasn’t always been easy, we’ve been learning to live without your Grandad and we’ve said goodbye to a few special people who I know you miss. You’ve been brave at hospital appointments and you’ve taken everything in your stride. You are a star and I wish I could take every needle and test for you, but I can’t.

Seven. I can’t believe my tiny baby is now a seven year old boy. You’ve grown tall, you’ve grown strong and you’re growing into a funny, charming, chatty boy. You’re working hard at school and I can’t ask for anything more than for you to try hard and listen to your teachers.

We’ve done such fun things while you were six. Penny the crazy puppy burst into our lives and we’ve watched her grow up. We had that brilliant holiday in Ribby Hall, just the two of us, remember? We went to Lapland UK and met Father Christmas. We’ve been rock-pooling, we’ve met sharks and otters, we had that great break in Blackpool where we saw the circus, danced on the prom, rode a donkey and just had a brilliant time together. Shall we do that again?

Keep having brilliant times, keep making brilliant memories and keep being brilliant.

A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

We’ve got so many hopes and dreams for you this year my love. We want you to work hard and try hard at school and to carry on reading and learn to love books as much as I did at your age. We’d like you to recognise how special you are, how kind, caring, lovely and funny you are. We want you to be confident and happy in yourself. We want you to know, really know that you are loved and adored by us.

I want you to be happy, I want you to love life and enjoy everything about it. Enjoy being seven Ben, it’s a great age to be and I hope you’ll let me join you on a few of your adventures this year.

Happy birthday my beautiful boy!

All my love, Mummy xxx

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Now We Are Six: We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

Over the weekend the small boy (who is not so small these days) turned six. This year his birthday fell on a Saturday, so we decided to throw him a party on his actual birthday, and I’m so glad we did.

Over the years we’ve had a couple of Rhythm & Rhyme parties, a couple of soft play parties and a brilliant party on a Steam Train. We like to try and do things a bit differently if we can, so we defied his instructions and booked him a “We Are Adventurers Pirate Party”. This outdoor party in a forest school was a bit of a gamble for a boy with a November birthday, but it massively paid off.

We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

For the uninitiated, We Are Adventurers is a forest school, they have them dotted about in various locations, but there’s one a few miles from our house. The basic premise is a birthday party (we had 20 kids) would spend a few hours with a couple of leaders in the woods, building a camp fire, going on a treasure hunt, running, screaming and chasing each other through the woods and then building a pirate ship out of sticks they collected from around the camp.

We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

Parents didn’t have to be there, but a few stuck around and we all watched in awe as our kids had the time of their lives. It was brilliant. At the end of the party all the kids sat around the fire eating the picnic lunches I’d made for them, and they toasted marshmallows around the fire. There were lots of children being reluctantly dragged from the woods afterwards, and most of them were top to toe covered in mud, with the biggest smiles on their faces.

We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

It was fantastic. Before we’d even got home, the not so small anymore boy was asking for the same kind of party again next year. I think that’s a birthday wish we can grant him!

We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

We Are Adventurers have a number of different party options including Pirates & Princesses, Bear Hunt, Elves & Fairies, Robin Hood, Creepy Crawlies and Superhero Adventure. They also run holiday clubs and a range of other activities.

Prices for a We Are Adventurers party start from £12 per head and you can pay extra for picnic bags and goody bags (we did our own catering but they did the goody bags). For more information visit their website.

We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

We paid for our party in full and have not been compensated for this post. We just had the best time, so I thought I’d share how brilliant it was.

Now We Are Six: We Are Adventurers Birthday Party

Now we are Six – Happy Birthday Sunshine

The small boy is six today, I’ve written a little letter which I hope he will read when he’s a bit older. I’m so proud of him in every single way. Happy birthday Sunshine xx

When I picked you up from school yesterday we held hands and chatted on the way home. When we do that it’s always the highlight of my day. You’re turning into such a big boy now, I love that every day you have a handful of new and brilliant words. You used some of these words on our way home, when you told me about your day and you asked me questions about your family, the grandparents you’ve never met and never will, and your grandad who has just gone to heaven to live with the stars.

As we got close to home I told you about my day, about the birthday cakes I’d baked for your party and how I hoped you’d like them. You’ve variously asked for a Paw Patrol cake, a Power Rangers cake and a Lego cake. I hoped you wouldn’t be too disappointed, but when you saw the pirate cake I’d made for you, the only word you had was “wow” and that made my heart glad.

What a year we’ve had my son. A year of firsts and lasts, of smiles, laughter and heartbreak. The low point by far was your grandad dying. I love that every time you mention him you glance at me to check I’m ok and then you give me a hug. I asked you about your favourite things about the last year and you said school, which is nice, but then I reminded you about our first camping trip to the Just So Festival, your first foreign holiday and flight to Majorca, meeting Tim Peake and all of the lovely family times we’ve had.

You’ve grown sunshine, you’re growing up. You’re full of life and cheekiness. You’re funny and full of care for the people around you. You’re clever and you’ll go as far as you want to in life. You do things on your own terms, and I’m glad of that. Follow your own path, be true to yourself and you won’t go far wrong.

I don’t know what the next year holds in store for you, I’m hoping that it will be a good one for you and for our family. Keep being you my beautiful boy. Keep trying hard in everything you do, keep being the wonderfully loving boy you are and keep smiling that beautiful dimpled smile which lights up the world.

Six is a grand age to be and I hope you have the best birthday ever. I love you so much today. Happy birthday Sunshine.

Happy birthday sunshine

Dear son, on your 5th birthday…

Dear Ben,

I’m writing this here because you know what your dad is like for putting things in a safe place and then losing them forever. I’m sorry, I’m going to get all squishy about you now, I’m not sorry actually, because you should never be sorry for loving someone.

Dear Ben, today you are five years old. In your head you’re a big boy now, able to do everything yourself, apart from dealing with buttons, zips and fiddly yoghurt pot lids. I look back over the last five years and see what an incredible feat of development childhood is, how you’ve gone from completely dependant on me for everything, to where you are now, shouting at me because you can’t get into your pudding quickly enough.

You are awesome. You take so much of life in your stride. For most of what you can remember of your life I’ve been “poorly” or in chronic pain as the doctors call it. You can’t remember me chasing you around, swinging you over my head, rolling around giggling with you. I can.

I don’t think you mind (yet) that I can’t do those things any more, and you help me out, taking my shoes off, doing my bending and lifting for me, fetching and carrying for me. You’re a star. At five years old people think you shouldn’t have to “care” for someone else, but caring for other humans we love is part of life and part of loving someone. Selflessness seems to be an increasingly rare quality, and my son, you have it in spades.

You are so full of love for everyone, you tell me you try and play with everyone in your class so no one feels left out, that you love everyone in your family best, and that you love dogs. Really love dogs. It’s a very good thing to love dogs Ben, dogs will be your best friend for life if you let them, you’re never lonely if you have a dog.

I can’t believe that you’re five now. Just like I won’t believe it when you’re 10, or 18 or 21 or buying your first house. Time is a horrible thing, it moves too fast when you want to grab it and hold it to your chest, like a tiny little baby, or a five year old boy, or a grown up lad with his first broken heart.

Time ticks on, runs away from you, the trick is to make the best of each moment, you might not get it right, but good enough with no real harm done is often the best you can hope for. Life is far too short to be unhappy, so be happy and if something is stopping you from being happy, change it.

Ben, you fill my heart with so much love and happiness, your dad too. I hope you have a brilliant birthday, that you like your new bike and all of your presents, and that you enjoy having all the people who love you best around you on your special day. Keep being brilliant Ben, because you are.

Love you to the moon and back!

Mummy xxx

5th birthday